This sounds a like its not related to the OP's question if you have a good stable link through the mesh but not outside the mesh.
The fact you can ping one IP address on the remote node seems to say you have a good mesh connection and the issue is local on that side (unless you have a traceroute that shows different)
Relying on the fact that your the only 0.0.0.0/0 route to publish services is a VERY bad idea. As soon as any other user comes on the mesh and publishes a GW you can no longer be sure they will be able to reach your network. You should add any services you want to publish into your actual network (either NAT mode with redirects OR as hosts on a direct subnet)
After that I can understand the filtering, just make sure everyone knows what filters are in place (and be ready to justify them to locals should one of them put up an open gateway --- remember your node will be the preferred gateway for those closer and you can disrupt others traffic) I would personaly suggest looking into transparent proxying and other methods to provide active feedback so users know what is happening and not just blocking.
As for "next hop" router that will not be likely to be put into the code by official builds. The whole point of the check is to be sure a user really does have a route to the internet as whole. This is what the 0.0.0.0/0 route means "I can get to the internet"
As a WAN link your router shouldn't need a link back because the mesh node should be in NAT mode so not really sure that is needed (Unless your trying this in NAT mode in which case it makes sense as we don't nat the source from MESH to LAN)
Routing Tables in use on a mesh node at this time: (see ip rules for more details in how each is configured for packet passing)
255 - Local 254 - Main 253 - Default 029 - Mesh Local Network 030 - Table of Mesh Nodes 031 - Wan GW's
OLSR keeps track of all routes to the internet. Only one route can be active at any time, routing tables do not keep track of packet loss so this concern isn't really a big deal as the mesh node will change the route based on ETX for you when the route is recalculated.
Convergence - This may not be as bad as you think, yes it can take time to propagate, but the main thing is as long as the nodes closest to the GW figure it out they can re-route the packet mid route.
Yes loss can still occur while network converges depending on the layout. But it may not be as bad as having to go all the way across to the other side of the network (depending upon layout) in some layouts only a single node would need to learn about the change, in other layouts a max of 50% would need to find out about it (A long string path of A-B-C-D-E-etc C could be the stall point)
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